


"I don't like you fucking my daughter."

by paraphrase (kk55)



Category: Friday Night Funkin' (Video Game)
Genre: Blue Balls, Character Death, Conversations, Crack, Explicit Language, F/M, Flashbacks, Humor, Implied/Referenced Sex, Strangulation, not sure why i wrote this but okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:00:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29526075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kk55/pseuds/paraphrase
Summary: Daddy Dearest has a talk with Boyfriend.
Relationships: boyfriend (friday night funkin')/girlfriend (friday night funkin')
Comments: 8
Kudos: 65





	"I don't like you fucking my daughter."

**Author's Note:**

> *BF's dialogue will be italicized. You wanna know why? 'Cause he only speaks in Morse code.
> 
> But, I don't want you guys to be reading dots n' lines.

* * *

Boyfriend tip-topped quietly down the steps. He just got done banging the ever-loving shit out of his girlfriend last night, and was hoping her parents weren't home.

Although, since Girlfriend's parents are retired musicians, the chances were slim.

Who knows, they might be asleep. Or were off getting freaky in a cheap motel somewhere.

That's what demons do right?

Boyfriend's mind was too foggy to figure it out.

He took quick glances left and right when he reached the kitchen.

No sign of demon parents here.

The boy was still cautious, though.

Once he walked out the kitchen, he took one step into the living room.

Yes! He's almost there! The front door was just a couple more feet away!

He began walking casually over to the entrance.

Boyfriend didn't think it would be this easy—

“Well, if it isn't my daughter's boyfriend.”

The boy jumped and stopped in the middle of his tracks.

That voice. He knew that voice anywhere.

Boyfriend turned around, noticing a hairy light-purple man sitting on the sofa.

Damn it. It was Daddy Dearest.

Daddy Dearest patted an empty space on the sofa. “Come, have a seat.”

As much as Boyfriend wanted to run out the house, he felt like he didn't have a choice, especially with red glaring pupils peering right into his soul.

Boyfriend gulped and faltered over to Daddy Dearest.

He sat next to the man on the empty sofa space, avoiding eye contact.

“Nervous?” Daddy Dearest asked.

The boy always felt afraid whenever he was near Daddy Dearest. Why wouldn't he? A towering 6'8” demon who has a permanent toothy smile on his face could scare anybody!

Boyfriend's words felt stuck in his throat, but he managed to croak a single word.

_“Yeah.”_

“Hmm, that's odd.” The father rested his hand under his stubbly chin.

_“How?”_

“I bet you weren't this nervous when you fucked my daughter last night.”

Boyfriend's heart dropped.

_“What?! How did—”_

“Trust me. It was no secret.” Daddy Dearest said in an irritated tone. “You guys were just as loud as an air raid siren.”

 _“Oh sir,”_ The boyfriend said, still shocked. _“we're weren't THAT loud.”_

* * *

_“Give it to me, daddy! Give it to me!”_

_“Ah, fuck! You're so tight!”_

_The sound of moaning, screaming, and a creaking bedframe echoed throughout the house._

_Mom and Daddy Dearest were awake in their bedroom, listening to the racket right above them. The dad checked the alarm clock on his night stand._

_3:05 A.M._

_“Christ, honey,” Mom lifted up her head and grabbed her pillow. She placed it over her ears to block out the noise. “tell 'em to stop or somethin'.”_

_“I can't just barge in on people having sex. That's rude.”_

_“Luis, they've been at it for hours! I'm tryin' to get my beauty sleep!”_

_“Why do you need beauty sleep if you're already beautiful?”_

_“Shut up.” Mom clutched onto her pillow, holding herself back from whacking her husband with it._

_Daddy Dearest chuckled._

_“Yes, yes! Fuck!”_

_“Babe, I-I'm—”_

_Finally, Boyfriend and Girlfriend reached their climax, making all the noise slowly become inaudible._

_Daddy Dearest checked the alarm clock once they were finished._

_3:48 A.M._

_Without any more noise, the father smiled to himself. He yawned and closed his eyes._

_“Let's go again, daddy.”_

_“Sure thing, babe.”_

_Oh God._

* * *

“It's awkward being called 'daddy' by my own daughter now because of you.”

The boy gripped onto his saggy blue pants, slightly embarrassed.

“How high is your sex drive?”

 _“That's kind of a weird question to be asking a kid.”_ Boyfriend smirked.

Daddy Dearest groaned. “You're not even a—I mean as in, how are you able to have sex with my daughter for, like, seven hours, and not get tired?”

 _“Blue balls.”_ Boyfriend quickly responded.

The living room went silent.

_“You may not like that answer, but it's the truth.”_

The father pinched the bridge of his nose. “How, if you're able to fuck her almost all the time?”

_“Easy. Whenever I think about her, her gorgeous body and all that, my junk immediately goes blue. Plus, I don't get exhausted after doing it. I can go at it for days.”_

“Days?”

_“Maybe even a week if she's not sore by then.”_

The father really wanted to beat the little shit's head in right here and there. But, he wouldn't be able to make an excuse of how Boyfriend died to his daughter.

She probably wouldn't even believe him if he did try.

She knew how much her father disapproved of Boyfriend. Maybe she's just dating him to spite her father, or just for pity.

Daddy Dearest didn't think it was the latter.

The man took a sharp inhale, then exhaled.

“I don't like you fucking my daughter.”

Boyfriend looked up Daddy Dearest. _“Eh?”_

“You heard me. You cause me and my wife to lose sleep. Soundproofing the walls don't do shit. And even when I mention you and the whole sex thing, she goes complete batshit on me.”

Boyfriend blinked.

“You guys can't just keep doing it all the time. There's more to life than just getting down and dirty. You know, like going to the movies, playing video games, or even better, reapplying to college and later starting a family so you two can actually have a reason to bang.”

The room went silent again.

“Doesn't that sound better than just meaningless sex?”

Boyfriend looked down at the floor, then looked back up at Daddy Dearest.

He shrugged.

_“Now THAT sounds meaningless. Who would want to do all that boring shit when you could have a thick bitch bouncing on your di—”_

Daddy Dearest's hands went straight for Boyfriend's throat.

He tightened his grip until the boy suffocated.

Boyfriend was later buried in the backyard.


End file.
